A lot has happened in life over the last 9 months and there are some pretty awesome things to be thankful for over that time….
The meals – Honestly, people are amazing. I’ve had a friend deliver a meal every Tuesday night for the last 10 or 12 weeks. Often it was large enough to stretch over two nights too. In the beginning I said to her, there are many others more immediately needy than us right now. But she insisted and said that was her way of showing she loved us. And what a welcome treat it has been to just not have to think about cooking. Especially in the last 2.5 weeks where we’ve all had a tummy bug. Meals have come from all directions and your practical care has been much appreciated.
The words – Since I’ve started writing, many of you have written in reply. I guess that’s been one little benefit of the blog – it’s opened up the conversation in some ways, when people didn’t know how or what to talk about. Now I’m far from one for soppy words or taking compliments. But your words in writing or in person are much appreciated. Yep, sometimes the fallout from writing a blog will have me in tears for the next day every time I open my email or Facebook to a new message – but they are sustaining words. One phrase that keeps popping up is people saying ‘You’re so strong’. It’s a line we definitely struggle with. We don’t feel we’re strong – you rise to the occasion I guess, and deal with whatever you’re going through as best you can, like anyone would. But thanks for the kind words anyway!
The prayers – Even if you’re not the praying kind, it’s always nice to know someone has you in their thoughts and is seeking the best for you. Even better when you know those thoughts and prayers are going to a God who cares beyond measure for his children. I know there are people praying fervently for us and the different challenges we’re going through, every day. Prayer all over the world, from people we know and those we don’t, and I believe those prayers have played a big part in strengthening and encouraging us in this.
The people – You often don’t realise how many people have been through tough stuff in life. Most people don’t openly share their grief on a daily basis! But there’s healing in talking, especially when its with someone who’s walked almost the same path. And while ‘blessed’ seems the wrong word for it, it’s pretty amazing how many women I know who have been in very similar situations to mine and have been open to sharing their experiences, and graciously listening to me.
How well you’re looked after with the NZ medical service – Seriously, there’s a person for everything. When I first found out there was a problem with baby I said to my midwife, it kind of seems like a waste of your time looking after me for the next 6 months (Type 1 diabetes pregnancies are pretty high maintenance). But never once have I been made to feel like looking after me and the baby has been a waste of their time. In fact, quite the opposite. The team has regularly gone out of their way to arrange things outside their scope for me. Things like throwing the rules out the window and allowing a photographer to be there in the Caesar theatre with us in case that’s the only time we get with baby. They’re always concerned about making this the best possible experience for us, and if at all possible letting us meet our little girl alive. I honestly couldn’t have asked for more.
Yes this last 6 months has been inconvenient, there’s been pain in it, and there will be a lot more pain to come. But it’s still been important and incredibly moving in many ways, preparing us and allowing us to grieve. And while I can’t quite connect all the dots as yet, I do know that there is purpose to everything.